And the Answer is: Bolt, Lime & Bird

carnac the magnificent
Johnny Carson as “Carnac the Magnificent”

Back when late night comedians specialized in comedy rather than political commentary, the incomparable Johnny Carson frequently portrayed “Carnac the Magnificent”.  Carnac, a mystic from the East, was able to determine the answers to written questions that had been “hermetically sealed inside a mayonnaise jar kept on Funk & Wagnall’s porch for security purposes”.  An example:

Carnac the Magnificent:  The answer is ‘Sis, Boom, Bah”!

Ed McMahon (unscrewing the lid from a mayonnaise jar and removing a sealed envelope):

And the question is “What sound does an exploding sheep make?”

In the title to this blog, the answer is “Bolt, Lime & Bird”.

The question is “What are three things that might run over you on Fort Lauderdale sidewalks?

Bolt, Lime and Bird are electric scooter brands scattered around downtown Fort Lauderdale (& beach) sidewalks since last November.  Lime official reported that 14,000 different riders covered nearly 48,000 miles in just the first 3 weeks the scooters were available.

electric scooters
Electric scooters for rent along Hwy A1A at the Fort Lauderdale Beach

While some scooter riders use the bike lanes, many others preferred the already busy sidewalks.  Scooters have a 15 mph maximum speed and make very little noise, so unless you can run a 4 minute mile you better get used to being startled when these scooters zip around you.  One idiot we encountered came at us full speed hollering “OH SHI*************!!!! as if he had lost control only to swerve around us at the last second.

Ha! Ha! (DIPSTICK!)

We encountered entire families on scooters, as well as an older child ferrying a younger child along the crowded streets and sidewalks.

In our car we passed a guy in full business attire -suit & tie – riding a scooter, presumably to work or to an appointment.

 

My favorite was when my wife and I approached an intersection just as a young woman wearing a thong rode by us on a scooter and stopped for a red light.  Her booteus maximus was as unencumbered as the day she was born.   I am sorry I didn’t have time to take a picture.  You will just have to take my word for it.

Or my wife’s.

Or perhaps that of the lady with a Bronx accent standing beside us staring in wide-eyed amazement who exclaimed “SHE’S GOING TO CAUSE SOMEONE TO RUN INTO A TREE!”

On the positive side, it did seem to make the time pass faster while we were waiting for the light to change.

Sane Pilot

Welcome to Sane Pilot, this site is dedicated to healthy life style.

RelatoCorto

Blog Fiction

Savvy Hot Mess Mom

Crazy, hot messes

Zoewiezoe

Where a little insanity goes a long way

Banter Republic

It's just banter

Pienaars in Tomorrowland

Recently immigrated to New Zealand. Sharing our personal and professional adventures.

The Godly Chic Diaries

BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH

Amyloid Assassin

Living with al amyloidsois; navigating a new normal

Mitch Teemley

The Power of Story

The Roaming Redhead

Hiking, Travel & Adventure

A Note From Abroad

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sailaway from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain

Jed on the AT

A 2018 Thru-Hiker's Journal

Nimblewill Nomad

Long Distance Hiker/Author

Wanderings With Wayne

Thoughts on the trail

The View From the Other Side of the Hill

You Can Observe a Lot Just By Watching - Yogi Berri

Discover WordPress

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.